Those ‘Black Dog Days’

Author - Tommy Carmichael

Before I begin, I want you to know that this is by no means advice. Everyone’s situation is different. And if you find a likeness to my story and get anything from it, then that is wonderful and welcomed.

Over the past year my mind has been through a lot. Global pandemic aside (if that is possible), my mind has concocted negatives for every positive, ran through every scenario for hypothetical situations, and battered my confidence and self-worth.

I am an actor who suffers from anxiety and depression. Combining the belief that I am incapable of doing the job with having to portray a completely different character to my own every performance feels near impossible at times. I become almost forgetful of every positive I have. Even though I have had work in the past year (positive as that may be), climbing out of a hole and hoping “Doctor Theatre” kicks in for every performance is scary territory. However, after what felt like an age of worrying about how to tell my director that I have been struggling, I knew I had to explain that I am not my complete self. I understand for many that it is difficult to discuss your mental health and wellbeing with anyone, especially when it could possibly affect your job, but I took the plunge and realised I had forgotten one important factor.

Performers are in a career that is crammed full of caring and understanding people. After all that worry, I found my director completely understood, and we moved on with the process knowing we had each other’s support. I have found that openness and honesty are unbelievably important when it comes to juggling work/life balance. But they also help me get through those “black dog days”, especially when I am open and honest with myself.

WRITTEN BY

TOMMY CARMICHAEL.